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☆ Why the Young and the Single Can’t Commit to Dating Apps
▼ + stars: | 2024-03-14 | by ( Gina Cherelus | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: +1 min

Alexa Valavicius is 28, single and off dating apps since 2021. She quit Hinge and Bumble, the only two platforms she was on, when she realized that getting a good read on people was difficult based on their profiles. Although she has never been in a relationship, she doesn’t believe she’s going to meet the love of her life via a screen: “I feel like my ideal partner is someone who is not spending their free time on apps.”Among young singles today, dating-app fatigue is real. The popularity of in-person dating events and the eagerness of some users to take a sabbatical from swiping both point to a shift among members of Gen Z. And that weariness is being felt by the largest dating-app companies, Match Group and Bumble, both of which have reported poor revenue growth and have laid off workers.

Persons: Alexa Valavicius, Ms, Valavicius, Gen Organizations: Match Locations: Chicago

☆ How New York Spent Its Valentine’s Day
▼ + stars: | 2024-02-15 | by ( Gina Cherelus | Jutharat Pinyodoonyachet | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: 1 min

Love it or hate it, Valentine’s Day is hard to escape. It’s the one day of the year when all of Instagram is deluged with proud displays of affection and shops are filled with people buying last-minute gifts. For the entire day, we hopscotched around neighborhoods, visited popular attractions and even ventured to the top of a skyscraper to capture the scene. In Times Square at 11:30 a.m., Valentine’s Day kicked off with a proposal for Nicolette Miller, whose boyfriend of five years, Justin Shadday, surprised her with a billboard display asking for her hand in marriage. He got down on one knee amid cheers from people nearby and confetti falling overhead.

Persons: Valentine’s, Nicolette Miller, Justin Shadday Locations: Manhattan, Harlem

☆ How Does Technology Play a Role in Your Love Life? We Want to Hear From You.
▼ + stars: | 2024-02-09 | by ( Gina Cherelus | More About Gina Cherelus | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: +1 min

Technology has played a major role in our romantic lives since the invention of the telephone. But in the decades since, some watershed moments have shifted the terrain of dating and relationships. I document our ever-shifting dating lives in my weekly column, Third Wheel. As technology grows more powerful, I’m wondering: How is it affecting the way we form connections? Does a virtual dinner date with you and another person’s digital avatar sound appealing?

Organizations: Technology

☆ Can You Optimize an Orgasm?
▼ + stars: | 2024-02-09 | by ( Gina Cherelus | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: +1 min

The data is generated by her vibrator, the Lioness, which measures her arousal and uploads information about her orgasm patterns to the company’s app. The sensors embedded in the toy track her pelvic floor movements. With each involuntary squeeze and release of her pelvic floor muscles, the app displays a graph showing her rhythmic pattern in a series of peaks and valleys. The option to track female orgasms at home introduces the possibility of hacking what some scientists have treated as an enigma. Some people use the tracking technology to combat sexual changes that can come with menopause or polycystic ovary syndrome, for example.

Persons: Melissa, ”, “, it’s Organizations: Apple Watch, Spotify Locations: Chicago, masturbates

☆ The ‘Total Stranger’ Who Wants You to Relive Your Dating Disasters on Camera
▼ + stars: | 2023-10-26 | by ( Gina Cherelus | More About Gina Cherelus | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: +1 min

One woman confessed to slashing tires and taking bank information. Mr. Carter, 25, who goes by J.C., said that he doesn’t come at the interviews with the sole aim of going viral. “I’m a total stranger, so I’m not going to judge them,” he added. The internet has never been more saturated with videos of people brandishing microphones and cameras in strangers’ faces, recording guerrilla interviews on the street. In cities across the world, creators are asking to tour strangers’ apartments, see their bank accounts, or reveal information about their dating lives and relationship issues.

Persons: “, Chris Carter’s, ”, Carter, J.C, I’m, ’ Organizations: YouTube Locations: Washington, Manhattan

At a speed-dating event in August, $25 bought attendees 20 dates with strangers, each roughly five minutes long. When the first blind dates began, it wasn’t long before some people — mostly men — tried to go out of order so they could talk to the person they were most attracted to. “There’s a seat right here,” one of the event’s organizers said, steering a wayward attendee back into the designated flow. Speed dating is no easy feat, requiring the conversational stamina of a filibuster champion, the brevity of an auctioneer and a positive mood to fight the boredom of repetition. Drinks were encouraged.

Persons: —, “

☆ Movers See All, and They Have Thoughts on Your Relationship
▼ + stars: | 2023-09-04 | by ( Gina Cherelus | More About Gina Cherelus | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: +2 min

When moving couples who aren’t breaking up, there are always ways to get a sense of their usual dynamic, said Sven Wechsler, owner of Sven Moving. It can also be telling when only one person is present, Mr. Wechsler said. The third time it happened, Mr. DeFabrizio actually showed up, but was turned away and offered some money for his time. “And then I realized what was happening,” Mr. DeFabrizio said. And I’m like, Daniel, I can’t be a part of this, this toxic relationship.”

Persons: Sven Wechsler, Sven, ”, Mr, Wechsler, “, ” Lou DeFabrizio, Lou Moves, DeFabrizio, Daniel, ” Mr, “ Daniel, I’m

☆ Don’t Worry, He’s All Right, According to at Least One Woman
▼ + stars: | 2023-07-31 | by ( Gina Cherelus | More About Gina Cherelus | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: +1 min

On the vouch dating groups, women post a few pictures of their guy friends, adding details about who the guy is and who he’s looking for, Ms. Pinckney, said. The friend then shares the potential matches with her guy friend and makes the connection if it’s a fit. Approaching the issue of verification from the opposite side of the coin, popular Facebook groups known as Are We Dating the Same Guy? But Are We Dating The Same Guy groups — there are more than 150 in different cities around the world — have become increasingly criticized for divisiveness, toxicity, defamation and privacy issues. Some, like Hinge and Raya, use various strategies to make potential matches feel less like strangers.

Persons: Pinckney, they’re, ”

☆ Listen: The Vanishing Family, The Retrievals, Oppenheimer
▼ + stars: | 2023-07-27 | by ( New York Times Audio | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: 1 min

Culture: ShortsIs This the Best Summer Movie? Discover what else is inspiring our Styles reporter. If you haven’t already, download the New York Times Audio app to hear these stories. The app is home to journalism and storytelling and provides news, depth and serendipity. It is available to Times news subscribers on iOS.

Persons: Gina Cherelus Organizations: New York Times

☆ A Singles Party, Where Chaos Is the Point
▼ + stars: | 2023-07-24 | by ( Gina Cherelus | More About Gina Cherelus | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: 1 min

“Are any of you guys drinking Jack and Coke right now,” Jesus Valdes shouted at two women who were sipping cocktails during a crowded singles mixer at American Whiskey, a bar in Midtown Manhattan. They were not, and Mr. Valdes let out a sigh of frustration. He was playing Chaotic Bingo, a game in which guests were given a sheet that listed 25 characteristics they had to find in someone else, including someone who’s had sex this month and someone you’d want to kiss later. First one to circle five across received one free year of Tinder platinum. Mr. Valdes, 34, a professor from Staten Island, said that he had met a few people already that he was interested in, including one “stand out,” but that it was early and he still wanted to mingle.

Persons: Coke, ” Jesus Valdes, Valdes, who’s, . Valdes Locations: Midtown Manhattan, Staten Island

☆ Therapy Where the Clothes Come Off (Sometimes)
▼ + stars: | 2023-07-12 | by ( Gina Cherelus | More About Gina Cherelus | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: +1 min

Eileen Chao works with people who, for any number of reasons, are less than comfortable with sex. She also works with people whose religious upbringing has complicated their relationship with sex or taught them “that their body is not to be trusted.”Ms. Chao is a surrogate partner in San Francisco. Unlike in more traditional forms of therapy, in which practitioners are usually careful to keep clients at arm’s length, a surrogate partner “enters into a temporary relationship” with a client on an intimate level, she said. “It’s really for clients to learn relationship skills and also develop a relationship with their own sexual selves,” she said. Ms. Chao, 42, described her office as a “relationship laboratory” in which she initiates different experiments to help clients identify whatever their barriers to emotional and physical intimacy might be.

Persons: Eileen Chao, Ms, Chao, “, “ It’s, ” Locations: San Francisco

☆ Ignoring the Red Flags for the Thrill
▼ + stars: | 2023-07-03 | by ( Gina Cherelus | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: +1 min

(The show was said to had a sixth episode but ended early amid rumors that viewership was too low.) At the center of “The Idol” are Jocelyn (Lily Rose Depp), a pop star on the brink of self-destruction, and Tedros (Abel Tesfaye, a.k.a. The Weeknd), a creepy club owner/cult leader who has her under his spell. Their abusive relationship blossoms despite multiple red flags. But beneath the show’s cheap shocks lies a question many of us have asked ourselves: Why do we pick people who are bad for us?

Persons: Jocelyn, Lily Rose Depp, Abel Tesfaye, ”, Tedros, Leila, Rachel Sennott, “, ” Jocelyn, — Sam Levinson, Reza Fahim, Tesfaye Organizations: HBO

☆ Lube That’s Too Chic for the Sock Drawer
▼ + stars: | 2023-06-19 | by ( Gina Cherelus | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: +1 min

For Portia Brown, a sex coach in Brooklyn, lube is nonnegotiable. “I don’t think I’ve had sex in the last five years without reaching for a lubricant,” she said. Inside her night stand drawer is an array of personal lubricants: some silicone-based, some oil-based, some infused with CBD. One thing most of them have in common, however, is the chic packaging and bottles they come in, imbuing a sex aid with the allure of a beauty product. Indeed, there is now a “lube aesthetic.”

Persons: Portia Brown, I’ve, Ms, Brown, “, ” Locations: Brooklyn, lube

☆ Where Do You Draw the Line on P.D.A.?
▼ + stars: | 2023-06-05 | by ( Gina Cherelus | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: +1 min

Another argued that maybe she just doesn’t like P.D.A. For the average person, being comfortable with P.D.A. Ms. Condé, who is of West African descent and was raised Muslim, said that the one place she probably wouldn’t engage in P.D.A. “They just go in on it like they’re complimenting, but it feels like ostracization in a way,” Ms. Condé said. was one of the reasons he and his boyfriend broke up three weeks ago: “He’s not so into P.D.A., and I need P.D.A.”

Persons: Damson Idris, Lori Harvey, Idris, Harvey, he’s, Condé, ”, “, ” Ms, it’s, it’ll, ” David Mendoza Locations: West

☆ Picket Line and Chill
▼ + stars: | 2023-05-16 | by ( Gina Cherelus | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: +1 min

The man apologized, but a friend of hers saw an opportunity. “My friend was like, ‘Now you owe her a drink,’” Ms. Starks said. I would be open to doing that.’”Matthew Rasmussen admitted that he had, on occasion, checked Grindr while at the picket lines to see who was nearby. He hit it off with a fellow picketer at CBS, and they spent most of the afternoon getting to know each other. He almost gave up searching for him after not finding him on Grindr and social media, but the man soon sent him a message.

☆ The Women Who Are Giving Dating Apps the Summer Off
▼ + stars: | 2023-05-08 | by ( Gina Cherelus | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: +1 min

“As much as I value companionship and relationships, I don’t know that I value it to the point of burnout.”As the days grow longer and the weather warmer, there are some who are opting out of dating apps — at least for now. Of nearly a dozen women interviewed, many said they were reclaiming the time they had spent in the cold winter months swiping through dating apps by prioritizing real-life encounters and focusing on having fun. Ms. Brown recently decided to take her dating life off the apps this summer and will be doing the things she loves, like going to food and wine festivals or on hikes. And if they’re not, they’re not.”Atoosa Moinzadeh is also on that wave. Ms. Moinzadeh, a 30-year-old Brooklyn resident, has been on dating apps for almost 10 years, after first downloading Tinder in 2014.

Michel Gaubert first crossed paths with Karl Lagerfeld when he worked at a record store on the Champs-Élysée. “All his life Karl was obsessed with music,” he recalled. All his life Karl was obsessed with music. Then one day Eric came and asked if I wanted to work with the Karl Lagerfeld brand. Karl said Diane de Beauvau-Craon [a French princess and a pal of Mr. Lagerfeld’s] would call me.

☆ What’s in Our Queue? SZA and More
▼ + stars: | 2023-01-25 | by ( Gina Cherelus | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: 1 min

What’s in Our Queue? SZA and MoreI’m a reporter on The Times’s Styles desk. Great fiction, film and music are what keep me sane. Here are the five things I’ve been loving as of late →

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